It's been a long time

Well, I looked back and realize that I have not posted in over a month. Why have I been so remiss in my duties as Weight Loss Blogger number One?

Life has been happening.

My fourth fill was on June 26th. I weighed in at 193lbs. He was pleased and said I am right on target to lose 50lbs within the first year which is what he asks as the second year of weight loss goes slower. ( I didn't want to tell him that I thought this was going pretty slow). I had lost 37lbs to that point, therefore I only had 13 more pounds until I reached his expected goal.

Dr. Boe, gave me .5cc's in my band taking me up to 6. I wanted more. Did he not understand that I had hardly any restriction? That the weight I lost was really due to running to no place in particular and my ability to stop eating at some point. I wanted a whole CC. He smiled and said, "lets just see where we are."

Now, one thing I have noticed about the phrase , "let's see" is that it means no. Tim has taught me that. True to man form, Dr. Boe gave me what he had intended .5cc, told me to make an appointment at the desk before leaving, shook my hand to congratulate me on my weight loss progress , warned me not to run alone and bid me a good day.

He didn't want to see me again until AUGUST! EIGHT WEEKS OUT! Was he crazy?

Did he really believe that I would acheive restriction with a mere half a cc? Why had this man forsaken me so? He seemed so understanding about my weight loss plight before. How could he do this to me? To think , I had placed him on my Christmas Card list.

I felt no difference for the first three days with the fill. Had it not been for the band aid that sat on my tummy I wouold not have even known I had a fill. The scale was not budging from 193 unless it was at 194.

I spent a couple of days at the intersection of Dissappointment Street and Pittyville Avenue but built a bridge and got over it. I recommitted myself to amping up the exercise (which is not easy when you have four children lurking around the house wanting stuff like food, water, a bath, trips to the park, to the pool outback, refereeing fights over who has more juice) and really watching what I ate (I will admit that snacking has been an undesirable habit I have acquired post band and having a bunch of children around. It is not their faults, but I have to blame them for something.)

Well, it turns out that Dr. Boe knew what he was doing. I have found true restriction. This could very well be, the elusive sweet spot the LBT boards talk so much about. Just a side note on this "sweet spot" terminology.This is the sometimes mythical place where you can eat a half cup of food or less and feel full.

Prior to being banded, I would never have put the phrase "sweet spot" along with my inability to eat for a number of reasons, none of which I will go into as this is a family blog.

I am now one of the cheapest dates ever. I ate two ounces of salmon yesterday and felt like I had eaten a school of fish.

This morning it was an egg. I was finished after three bites.

Fab---uuuu--luuuus!

Now, all I have to do is master the "head hunger" that plagues me. It is challenging not to eat whever there is food around especially for the kids. It is a constant struggle for me not to pop stuff in my mouth and chew recklessly without thinking. The good news is I really can't eat a lot of whatever I have eaten absently. The bad news is its uusually something that gets stuck and sits in the center of my chest for a while or makes me slime. Neither are particularly exciting times to deal with and what makes it worse is that I did it to myself so I don't feel as if I should complain.

Having said all of the above today when I stepped on the scale it read 191.8. That is so close to having an "8" in the middle that I could just scream for joy. No tears, however, that is reserved for my goal weight, which I am not sure I have settled on yet.

I am being pestered to write something about "Nutrition Day" for the kids. It was my idea. These ideas always seem like good ones until I actually have to implement them.

Until the next time,
Your Recovering Fat Girl
Mikki